When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
Vote:
How do you kill a blonde with one arm?
You wave to her.
Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!
There is a guy. His favorite bar is called 'Sally's Legs'.
The bar is closed, so he waits outside for it to open.
He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked, "What are you doing?"
The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can get a drink."
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because the spots where all over.
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words:
The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a library and checked out a book called How to Hug?
She got it home and found it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
"Hey, today we got the four of clubs.
A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy.
And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds.
I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse."
Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far.
The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless."
Bill Maher "The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq.
You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain."
Bill Maher "Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles.
President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick.
There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" Bill Maher.
Why do the blondes spill water over the computer?
They want to navigate over the internet.