What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year?
"Forty-eight years old."
Bill Gates is judged for bigamy.
He says:
If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’
‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary.
‘You have to go alone.’
Why are old socks good for golf?
Because they have eighteen holes.
A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port of France, and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places.
Oui monsieur; what is the destination port for this load?
I’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil.
Wouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal?
Why is that sir? If you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese; of course!
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words:
The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
What’s a black spot between two white spots?
A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy."
Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
Name an animal that lives in Lapland?
A reindeer
Good, now name another.
Another reindeer!