Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.
How do you kill a blonde with one arm? You wave to her.
Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina? A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
There is a guy. His favorite bar is called 'Sally's Legs'. The bar is closed, so he waits outside for it to open. He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked, "What are you doing?" The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can get a drink."
Why do zebras have stripes? Because the spots where all over.
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words: The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...