It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice.
He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
"No" says the neighbor.
"The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"
The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me.
I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods.
Swimming
Money should be utilized as a tool.
You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
Vote:
What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year?
"Forty-eight years old."
Bears do not eat bears.
Tigers do not eat tigers.
Dogs do not eat dogs.
Cats stopped eating kebabs.
Bill Gates is judged for bigamy.
He says:
If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
TEACHER: Why would you paint something black?
STUDENT: So it runs faster.
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words:
The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
Why are old socks good for golf?
Because they have eighteen holes.