"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Vote:
Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’
‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary.
‘You have to go alone.’
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga.
LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina".
When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!"
"Don't disrespect me! I be her mama.
I can names her anything I want."
When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
Vote:
Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina?
A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
Vote:
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie?
Putting the shoes on the flies!
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars.
One of the chamber members stood up and said,
"I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."