What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. Basketball
Bill Gates is judged for bigamy. He says: If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
Hey babe, let's play football! You can have first down. High five!
One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework. The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob. Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in. He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum. Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian. The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone. Note: they were all boys.
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a bum asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
Why did the policman cry? because he couldn"t take his Panda to bed!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!