Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.
After a while he asks surprised:
Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
Because I used only one leg for the stock.
How do you make a cat be a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match.
It will go 'WOOF.'
Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
Why is it nice being a baby?
It’s a nappy time.
If Asda is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the shop free yet?
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
A blond smokes in her yard. The garbage man asks her:
Any garbage today?
Yes, tree sacks please...
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.'
What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.
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