Best jokes ever

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low. The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: computer, sport
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: sport
The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods. Swimming
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: sport
Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’ ‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary. ‘You have to go alone.’
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has 14.52 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: sex
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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has 14.31 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
The mouse is referred to as a ‘little bugger’.
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has 14.26 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: IT
Why are old socks good for golf? Because they have eighteen holes.
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has 14.26 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: sport
A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port of France, and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places. Oui monsieur; what is the destination port for this load? I’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil. Wouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal? Why is that sir? If you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese; of course!
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has 14.26 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
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