Best jokes ever

Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
Vote:
has 78.97 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: life, music, sex
George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side." Bush interrupted, "Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?" The doctor replied, "That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left."
Vote:
has 78.96 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, political
A businessman was flying on a plane surrounded by hundreds of kids. A lady went and sat down next to him. She asked, "Are these all your kids?" The man replied, "No, I just work at a condom factory, these are all the complaints".
Vote:
has 78.96 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, business, kids, sex
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
Vote:
has 78.96 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
Vote:
has 78.96 % from 828 votes. More jokes about: accountant, nerd, sex
Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Heck. My wife is better than that.’ The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘You know? Your wife IS better.’
Vote:
has 78.95 % from 1153 votes. More jokes about: sex
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, “I'll take that bet!” Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend. I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
Vote:
has 78.95 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
Vote:
has 78.94 % from 590 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Teacher: Students draw a picture of bacteria. Student: Here it is Mam! Teacher: Where? It Is Blank. Student: you told that bacteria cannot be seen with naked eye!
Vote:
has 78.94 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
Your mama so ugly, when she went to a stripping club, they paid her to keep her clothes on.
Vote:
has 78.94 % from 1470 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
<<<153154155156
More jokes →
Page 153 of 1429.