Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
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Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
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Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?" Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older." Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now." Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
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How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
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Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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