Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
Vote: has 77.64 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, "Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" The mother responds, "Very good honey." The blonde asks, "Is that because I'm a blonde mommy?" And the mother responds, "Yes dear." Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, "Today in school we learned our ABCs! The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!" The mother says, "Very good honey." The blonde then asked. "Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" The mother responds, "Yes dear." The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy today in school we went swimming! But I was the only one who had breasts. Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" And the mother responds, "No Honey, it's because you're twenty five."
Vote: has 77.63 % from 279 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. "Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. "Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie. "Correct." Says the teacher. So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims. "Correct again." Says the teacher. So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?" Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"
Vote: has 77.62 % from 825 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, heaven, kids, religious, school
Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ? A: B-52...F-16...A-10.
Vote: has 77.60 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
A man needing some legal help walks into a law firm. He asks an attorney: "If I give you $300 to help answer two legal problems I have, will you help me?" The attorney replies: "Sure, what's the other question?"
Vote: has 77.60 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, money
Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
Vote: has 77.60 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

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One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.
Vote: has 77.59 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, travel
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man? Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.
Vote: has 77.59 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Vote: has 77.56 % from 189 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death