Best jokes ever

Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There's clearly room for more wine.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, wine
A police officer pulled a young woman over for speeding and politely asked to see her license. "Why don't you cops get your act together," she said in a huff. "Yesterday you take my license away, and now today you expect me to show it to you!"
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: cop
Patient to doctor: "On the top of your prescription these words are printed: We treat; God Cures. If so, would I give the fee to you or shall I send it to God?" Doctor: "Pay me. I will send it."
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: doctor, god, life
A kid from Mississippi is on Harvard campus for the first time, he stops a student and asks, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the library is at?" The Harvard student replies "At Harvard, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition." The kid said, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?"
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: IT
Two blondes wait at a bus stop. A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry." The other blonde leans inside and asks, "How about ME?"
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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