Best jokes ever

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
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has 76.31 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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has 76.31 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
Q: What is the difference between northern and southerner fairytales? A: Northerner starts off with "Once upon a time..." a southerner starts with "listen to this shit..."
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has 76.28 % from 482 votes. More jokes about: racist
A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy. Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:" "Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride. He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. His shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. He was cold so I gave him that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. His trousers were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?' "And so, here we are!"
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has 76.28 % from 536 votes. More jokes about: driving, food, gay, sex
"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."
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has 76.28 % from 1092 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
A guy feels out an application for E-harmony to meet the ladies. E-harmony rejected his application because he failed to answer question 14 properly. The question was, "What do you like most in a woman." The man replied, "My d*ck."
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has 76.28 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Patient to doctor: "On the top of your prescription these words are printed: We treat; God Cures. If so, would I give the fee to you or shall I send it to God?" Doctor: "Pay me. I will send it."
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: doctor, god, life
A police officer pulled a young woman over for speeding and politely asked to see her license. "Why don't you cops get your act together," she said in a huff. "Yesterday you take my license away, and now today you expect me to show it to you!"
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: cop
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: women
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