Teacher: Why are you crawling into class, John?
Littly Johny: You said, "Don't anyone dare walk into my class late!"
Vote:
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
Yo mama so ugly, people break into her house to close the curtains!
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back, my child...!"
Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience.
Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow.
Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing.
Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her.
She finds herself barely able to hang on.
The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, her head just inches from the ground... catastrophe seconds away.
She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden...
Frank, the Wal-Mart door man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride.
Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
Vote:
Patient to his doctor: "I have forgotten so many things lately, and it's getting worse. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I'd also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?"
Music teacher tells Peter:
"I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
Why is a woman different from a PC?
A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin?
A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.