Best jokes ever

Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: women
A police officer pulled a young woman over for speeding and politely asked to see her license. "Why don't you cops get your act together," she said in a huff. "Yesterday you take my license away, and now today you expect me to show it to you!"
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: cop
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
Patient to doctor: "On the top of your prescription these words are printed: We treat; God Cures. If so, would I give the fee to you or shall I send it to God?" Doctor: "Pay me. I will send it."
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: doctor, god, life
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
Two girls were comparing boyfriends. "Mine's the best," said the first. "I call him Seven-Up because he's 7 inches long and he's always up!" "Oh yeah," exclaimed the other, "I call my boyfriend Jack Daniel's because he's the best hard licker there is!"
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy? A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
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has 76.27 % from 937 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
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has 76.27 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
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