Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
Your momma so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares.
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More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, "wow, how did you do that." I would tell you", answered the magician predictably, "but then I'd have to kill you." After a moments pause the same voice screamed out "can you tell my mother in law?"
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More jokes about: death, mother in law
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
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Teen Girl to Friend: "For the prom, I'm renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in the state to do my hair." Teacher who has overheard the conversation: "Wow, that's more than I spent for my wedding!" Teen Girl: "Yeah, well you can get married three or four times, but a prom is a once in a lifetime experience."
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More jokes about: beauty, money, party, teen
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex? A: "Honey I'm home."
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More jokes about: communication, sex
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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More jokes about: dog, relationship, single
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
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More jokes about: love, romantic, teen, time