Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT. He got a perfect score.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.