Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Chuck Norris fills a 1-Liter Bottle With 2 liters of water.
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Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Charlie Sheen winning?
Chuck Norris says "I think not."
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What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris?
His foot.
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Chuck Norris once replied to a 'no-reply' mail, and got the answer he wanted.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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