Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
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Aliens do exist.
They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
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God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
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