Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex. When the results of the French study were released, Canada decided to conduct their own study. The Canucks didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00, the Canadian study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead!
Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.