Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their shoes?
A: "Toes go in first."
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Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet?
A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.
What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
"There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot."
A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training.
As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away.
Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use.
Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse.
Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again.
Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
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Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.
They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.
As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.
One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."
The other said: "What do you think I am, stupid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"