Best jokes ever

Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!
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has 74.11 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: phone, stupid, Yo mama
Your mama so fat she was going to walmart tripped over kmart and landed right on target!
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has 74.10 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
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has 74.10 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, sex
Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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has 74.09 % from 374 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage? He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."
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has 74.08 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don't understand life. Tracy: What do you mean? Stacy: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up...
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: school
A couple goes to Mexico City on vacation and eats at a famous local restaurant. The waiter tells them they have a delicious special every Sunday, so the couple orders the special. With great fanfare, the waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping. It smells delicious and tastes even better. The couple is delighted with their meal, and the husband asks the waiter what fabulous meat was in the dish. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights, and that was the bull's balls you ate." The couple is a bit taken aback by what they have just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it. Six months later, the couple returns to Mexico City and decides to go to the same restaurant. Feeling adventuresome, they order the same dish. Once again, with great fanfare, the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time, there are two tiny pieces of meat, barely enough for one. The man says, "Excuse me, but the last time we were here and ordered this dish, it was huge, more than enough for two. Why is this portion so small?" The waiter smiles and replies, "Well, you see, senor, sometimes the bull wins!"
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, holiday, husband, mexican
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load." He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, driving, winter, work
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: life, men, wife, women
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