Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Vote:
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum.
"That looks nasty," says the doctor.
"Nasty?" the man says.
"That's just the tip of the iceberg."
Q: Why do we have to be quiet in church?
A: Because people are sleeping!
Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls?
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Because people are dying to get in there.
Vote:
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court?
A: For charges of battery.
Get to know your mate.
If there's something you need to know about him, just ask him right up front.
And choose the right moment because the fellas don't like opening up.
Like, after intimacy, turn around, look him in his eye and say, "I've been wanting to know, what's your name?"
God: You have 3 wishes.
Me: Make my friend gay.
God: You still have 3 wishes.
Vote:
The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket with wine.
Vote:
I don't know whats happening in this country.
You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children.
Its a nightmare... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!