A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
No, restart the router, please!
Yo mama is so ugly, she couldn't join an ugly contest, because was treated as a professional.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy.
But other times I let her sleep in.
I'll kiss you in the rain, so you get twice as wet.
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We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
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“Dad, can you write in the dark?”
“I think so. What is it you want me to write?”
“Your name on this report card.”
Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it's daylight.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald.
He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant.
"I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."
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