Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Q: What do New Year's Parades have in common with Santa Claus? A: No one is awake to see either of them.
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Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
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What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Nations fight other nations but wouldn't have balls enough to go toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris. Remember Atlantis?
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground. The place is now known as the meteor crater.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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