Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Q: What do New Year's Parades have in common with Santa Claus? A: No one is awake to see either of them.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Nations fight other nations but wouldn't have balls enough to go toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris. Remember Atlantis?
Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground. The place is now known as the meteor crater.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.