Best jokes ever

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. "You're wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun." They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?" The third drunk looked at the sky and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
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has 73.58 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
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has 73.58 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: cop, family, soccer, sport
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: school, student, time, work
Bob the Builder asks if we can fix it, Chuck Norris already did.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, heaven, life, political
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do you call a Labrador that becomes a magician? A Labracadabrador!
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
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has 73.56 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Dog Property Laws 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, its mine. 8. If I saw it first, its mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, its yours.
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has 73.54 % from 366 votes. More jokes about: animal
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