Best jokes ever

Q: What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second? A: First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.
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has 73.08 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: age, sex, travel, viagra, wedding
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
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has 73.07 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters. In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes. Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow. His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon. He told his Syrian guest, “Take anything you want – our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles.” “No, no – you don’t understand!” the Syrian replied. “Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-*jet* missiles!”
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has 73.06 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: military, war
[first day as a pilot] Control tower: What are your coordinates? Me: I'm by a cloud that looks like a lion. Control tower: Can you be more specific? Me: Simba
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has 73.06 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: communication, travel, work
Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up? A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!
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has 73.05 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life? You were brought by a stork. That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
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has 73.05 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: sex
How do you kill 10,000 Mexicans? Throw a peso over a cliff. How do you kill 10,000 more? Tell them nobody got it.
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has 73.04 % from 323 votes. More jokes about: death, mexican, racist
Q: Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea? A: He thought he was melting.
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has 73.04 % from 784 votes. More jokes about: racist
Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them: "we have arrived". The first man gave him money. The second one thanked the taxi driver. The third one slapped him (the taxi driver). The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: "what was that for?". The drunken man replied: "control your speed next time! you nearly killed us!!!"
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has 73.02 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, money
Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword. Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"? Murphy replies, "What color?"
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, kids, stupid
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