Justin Bieber puked on stage.
That settles it, she's pregnant.
Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
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Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face?
A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator.
A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground.
Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
A young Jewish Mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten.
"Behave, my bubaleh," she says.
"Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!"
"And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh."
"Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!"
At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him.
"So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?"
The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school.
A: Because he forgot how to spell.
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What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.