Q: Why do we have to be quiet in church? A: Because people are sleeping!
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."
I've 3 aunts and 4 uncles in any ceremony of wedding they mention me : "oh , Bill you are enough grown up , the next time will be your turn." I also in payoff on funeral days tell them: "Woo you are enough old I hope next time would be your turn!"
Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Yo momma so fat that they had to install speed bumps at all you can eat buffet.
Little gay Johnny asks Billy, "If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone? Billy says, "No way, that'd be embarassing". Johnny then asks, "Wanna go camping?"
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.