Best jokes ever

Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life
Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer. Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?" Customer says "bourbon and coke." Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?" He says nods his head yes. 10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure." Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?" And customer nods yes. Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that." Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, customer service, vulgar
Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen... Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?" Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, friendship, health, stupid
An old seamstress is slowly walking back to her job from lunch, when a flasher jumps out of an alley and opens his coat wide. The old woman looks him up and down, shakes her head sadly, and says "You call that a lining?"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, old people, work
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, death
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bartender, god
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. "I would like my grandchildren to say,that he was successful in business," declared the first man. "Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say,that he was a loyal family man." Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?" "Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age!"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people