A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men".
So he stabs her and takes her purse.
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Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator.
A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground.
Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face?
A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...
A wife to her husband:
"Honey, what are you doing?"
"I'm reading our marriage certificate."
"What for?"
"I'm looking for the expiry date..."
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school.
A: Because he forgot how to spell.
Vote:
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him.
Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?!"
"Well," said the guy, "you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can’t help practicing my art!"
"That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!" the guy replied.
"I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"