Priest walks into a hotel reception and says 'I have booked a room for the night, but I hope the pornography on the television is disabled'. The receptionist say 'You weirdo, its normal porn!'
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did u copy his?
Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common?
A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
Vote:
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
Vote:
A businessman returns from the far east.
After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors.
They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off."
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it.
So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan.
The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?"
The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA."
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
Vote:
Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2?
Student: Why?
Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
Q: How do Asian parents name their kids?
A: They drop a tin can down the stairs and it makes the noise Bing ling wata ling ling.
Little Johnny was sitting in his classroom when his teacher asks what sounds animals make.
First the teacher asks,"what sound does a cow make?"
Susie raises her hand and says moo.
"Good job susie" says the teacher.
Then she asks what sound does a duck make?
Billy raises his hand and says quack.
Next the teacher asks what sound a pig makes.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says," Get your black ass out the car, put your hands above your head, and spread your legs!"
Vote:
Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!
Yo mama so dumb she stole a free cookie!