Best jokes ever

Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
Vote:
has 72.81 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
Your momma so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares.
Vote:
has 72.81 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so old that when she went to the museum, people thought she was part of an exhibit.
Vote:
has 72.81 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed.
Vote:
has 72.81 % from 340 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, work
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. One hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says: "Hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds: "Oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!", exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!." So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says: "Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, celebrity, drunk
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, wife
The poop list: -Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet. -Clean Poop: You poop, it's in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper. -Second Wave Poop: You're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you're not done. -Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling. -Corn Poop: Self-explanatory. -Wet Cheeks Poop: (The power dump) Comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water. -Upper Class Poop: This poop doesn't smell. -The Dangling Poop: This poop refuses to drop, and you just pray that a shake.
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: geek, nerd, science
<<<294295296297
More jokes →
Page 294 of 1428.