Best jokes ever

It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: geography, time, weather
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life, management, money, wife
There was a plane crash into the jungle. A group of men survived, but were caught by savages and taken to their village. Then, chief came out of his cabbin and said:"You can choose between TUNGA-MUNGA and DEATH. What is your choice?". They looked one another and screamed:" Tunga-munga, tunga-munga!" Then chief turned to his tribe and ordered:" TUNGA-MUNGA!!" And prisoners got f****d by every single male in the tribe. Tomorrow, chief asked the same question, and they again chose tunga-munga.But,the thi rd day, they decided that they can't take it any more so they chose death instead. Chief asked if they were sure about their decision, and after affirmative answer he turned to his tribe and ordered:" TUNGA-MUNGA TILL DEATH!!"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about:
Dear haters, I can't help but notice that awesome ends in ME and ugly starts with U.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school. A: Because he forgot how to spell.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, memory, school
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?!" "Well," said the guy, "you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can’t help practicing my art!" "That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life, work
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, marriage, wife
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: customer service, family, mean, money, music
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, parrot, technology
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