Little Johnny was sitting in his classroom when his teacher asks what sounds animals make.
First the teacher asks,"what sound does a cow make?"
Susie raises her hand and says moo.
"Good job susie" says the teacher.
Then she asks what sound does a duck make?
Billy raises his hand and says quack.
Next the teacher asks what sound a pig makes.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says," Get your black ass out the car, put your hands above your head, and spread your legs!"
Vote:
Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator.
A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground.
Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men".
So he stabs her and takes her purse.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned:
"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied:
"That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school.
A: Because he forgot how to spell.
Vote:
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.