Best jokes ever

Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen... Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?" Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
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More jokes about: communication, friendship, health, stupid
An old seamstress is slowly walking back to her job from lunch, when a flasher jumps out of an alley and opens his coat wide. The old woman looks him up and down, shakes her head sadly, and says "You call that a lining?"
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More jokes about: age, old people, work
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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More jokes about: animal, blonde, death
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bartender, god
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. "I would like my grandchildren to say,that he was successful in business," declared the first man. "Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say,that he was a loyal family man." Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?" "Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age!"
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More jokes about: old people
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
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More jokes about: animal, food
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency? He said quickly Obama. When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?
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More jokes about: life, political