Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A: A sunken chest with no booty!
The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
"The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoroughly." "What did they say?" "They want 15% to keep quiet."
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications. Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant. Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion! Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.