Best jokes ever

Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, money
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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has 72.71 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
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has 72.70 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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has 72.70 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Priest walks into a hotel reception and says 'I have booked a room for the night, but I hope the pornography on the television is disabled'. The receptionist say 'You weirdo, its normal porn!'
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has 72.70 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: priest, sex
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
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has 72.70 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, parrot
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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has 72.70 % from 429 votes. More jokes about: dog, school, teacher
A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off." The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan. The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?" The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA." The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off." The man answers, "Yes!" The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
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has 72.70 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: business, disgusting, doctor
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America.
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has 72.70 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: political
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