Best jokes ever

Little Johnny and Mary were standing at the beach in their bathing suits. Johnny says to Mary, hey you show me yours and I'll show you mine. Mary says ok, and drops her bathing suit the same time as Johnie. He look and gasps you don't got one of these, but Mary laughs and says Yea, but with one of these I can get as many of those I want.
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has 72.69 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sex, so the Prostitute said, " All right, now give me my money!" The Koala replied, " Money, what for?" " What for?", the Prostitute growled, "Look up Prostitute in the dictionary and read what it says." So the Koala looked up prostitute in the dictionary. It said, "Prostitute- A woman who is paid to have sex." " Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says." So the Prostitute looked up Koala in the dictionary. It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."
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has 72.69 % from 283 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, sex
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
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has 72.68 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene we must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing." The German replied, "Yeah that will not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time." "Yeah, that will be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before." The German replies, "yeah" The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to escape!"
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has 72.66 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: military, prison, war
Your momma so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares.
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has 72.65 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
What's the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on? Asian girl's ass.
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has 72.65 % from 1640 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
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has 72.63 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, science, Yo mama
My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: insulting, relationship, time
There's 3 army generals and the government decides to pay them any way they want measured. First guy says measure from the tip of my toe to the end of my finger. So they do and its 73 inches so they pay him $730,000. The second guy does the same and gets paid $650,000. The third guy goes measure from the tip of my penis to the back of my balls. They say OK drop your pants, so he does and they measure. "You have no balls" they say. "Yes I do," he replies, "they're still in Vietnam.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, husband, mean, men, wife
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