Best jokes ever

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men, women
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?!" "Well," said the guy, "you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can’t help practicing my art!" "That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life, work
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, time, work
Q: When do accountants laugh out loud? A: When somebody asks for a raise.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, women
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
What a woman says… This place is a mess! C’mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now! What a man hears… blah blah blah blah blah C’MON! YOU AND I blah blah blah blah! blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, women
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives.... "I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.." "Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?" "New York City..."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, life
Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?" The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, death, women
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: airplane, death, men
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