Best jokes ever

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?" The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink." Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?" The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink." Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?" The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm...Oh yeah, I remember now.Feed the pigs and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"
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has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: blonde
They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors.
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has 72.34 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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has 72.33 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
The murderer was holed up in his house, and the SWAT team was trying to get him out. A cop got on the bullhorn and said, "Come on out, or I'm going to come in there and drag you out!" The murderer called back, "I'm warning you. If you don't wipe your feet when you come in, my wife'll kill us both!"
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has 72.33 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: cop, wife
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, science, winter
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
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has 72.33 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, wife
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Little gay Johnny asks Billy, "If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone? Billy says, "No way, that'd be embarassing". Johnny then asks, "Wanna go camping?"
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo momma so fat that they had to install speed bumps at all you can eat buffet.
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
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