What do you call a black guy in a suit?...
Guilty.
Vote:
Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
Vote:
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff.
Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt.
She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!"
She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman."
He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.
Vote:
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."
Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin?
A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!
An elderly man remembers the good old days:
“When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras."
Vote:
Yo Momma so fat that when she puts on her yellow rain coat and walks down the street people shout out cab!