Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex.
She replied, "I do too!"
He gets confused and asks why.
She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?"
Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Vote:
Little gay Johnny asks Billy, "If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?
Billy says, "No way, that'd be embarassing".
Johnny then asks, "Wanna go camping?"
A Mexican and a black person jump off a bridge, who wins?
Society.
Vote:
Yo mama's so fat that when she wore a red shirt, people said hey look koolaid.
My wife keeps telling me I shouldn’t pee in the bath – or if I really have to I should at least wait till she gets out.
Question: Why did God give men penises?
Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.
Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"