Little gay Johnny asks Billy, "If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?
Billy says, "No way, that'd be embarassing".
Johnny then asks, "Wanna go camping?"
Yo mama's so fat that when she wore a red shirt, people said hey look koolaid.
My wife keeps telling me I shouldn’t pee in the bath – or if I really have to I should at least wait till she gets out.
Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"
Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
Vote:
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff.
Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt.
She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!"
She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman."
He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.
Vote:
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."