When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room.
The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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