Best jokes ever

First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
Vote:
has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: food, military
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
Vote:
has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: school
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
Vote:
has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, food, life, music
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
Vote:
has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
Vote:
has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"
Vote:
has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math
Two black men are walking down the street. They pass a shop that advertises "Be White For a Day! Ninety-nine cents!" The two guys decide to try it out and they look to see how much money they have. One guy has a dollar bill, and the other guy has exactly ninety-eight cents. They decide that the first guy will go in with the dollar, get his change and then give it to the second guy so he can go in. Problem solved. The first guy goes in, and after a few minutes, he comes out with white skin, kakhi slacks, a polo, and a golf cap. They laugh and admire his new race for a minute. Then the second guy says, "How about that penny?" The first guy yells, "GET A JOB!"
Vote:
has 72.32 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: racist
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
Vote:
has 72.31 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
Vote:
has 72.31 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
Vote:
has 72.31 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
<<<303304305306
More jokes →
Page 303 of 1428.