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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
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During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me." He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
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This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight..."
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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
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Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.
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A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, kids