Yo mammas so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, her reflection said," I quit."
And walked away.
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Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
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Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi.
The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them: "we have arrived".
The first man gave him money.
The second one thanked the taxi driver.
The third one slapped him (the taxi driver).
The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: "what was that for?".
The drunken man replied: "control your speed next time! you nearly killed us!!!"
Yo mama is so fat she turned a monster truck into a low rider.
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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Yo momma so old...
Jurassic Park brought back the memories...
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When terrorists feed their children, do they use the airplane method of "open wide" while making airplane noises?
Or do they just smash it into their faces?
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building.
He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out.
Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing.
One hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says:
"Hey, how the heck are you doing that?!"
The first guy responds: "Oh, it's really simple physics.
When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk."
"WOW!", exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!."
So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below.
The bartender looks over to the first man and says: "Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!
Yo mama so dumb she stole a free cookie!
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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