Best jokes ever

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, Tom, gave me £15,000. And you, Harry, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide this case solely on its merits.’
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What sports team is the least safe around children? A: The Nashville Predators.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: kids, sport
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. "Help, help!" yells one of the blondes. "Help us, help us!" yells the other. "Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde. "Good idea," said the other. "Together, together!"
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What do you call a mexican who's lost his car? Carlos.
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has 72.55 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: car, mexican, racist
A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final atempt to get the man to speak. Finally the drunk replies - "No use knockin' mate - there's no paper in this one either".
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has 72.55 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, church, drunk, priest
Pr*stitute in the police station. The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?" She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"
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has 72.55 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.
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has 72.55 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ethnic, wedding
Q: What's the difference between bigfoot and a hard working black man? A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
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has 72.55 % from 762 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, work
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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has 72.55 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
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