Best jokes ever

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
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has 73.58 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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has 73.58 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Once there was this man whose car broke down. He realized after looking for help for 10 minutes that there was a small farmhouse with an old lady sitting on the porch. He told her his unfortunate story and she gladly let him in. But first she told him, ''I have three rules that you musn't break or I'll see to it that you meet justice! But since talking hurts my throat so much, I won't tell you my rules.'' She let him sleep in the laundry room. He found himself a comfortable pile of old wool sweaters. After puffing his "pillow" he realized that a pair of pants were hanging down from a clothes line over top of his new bed. Seeing that it was no big deal he pulled them down. Instantly the old lady darted into the room and said, ''YOU BROKE MY FIRST RULE!'' He was sent outside to sleep in the donkey's stable. Right beside him was a tiny donkey kicking him so much that he slapped it. In a flash grandma was there: ''You broke the second rule. Watch out.'' He was sent onto the porch to sleep. All of a sudden a big, ugly cat came along and started rubbing all over him. Being allergic to cat hair, he shaved it bald. Here came the grandma. ''You broke the third rule,'' she starts, ''I'm calling the cops.'' The cops came and requested a description of what happened. The old lady said, ''That man is a damned rapist. He pulled down my pants, slapped my ass and shaved my pussy!''
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has 73.58 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do you call a computer expert? A: A control-alt-elite.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, work
Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? A: She missed the Earth.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde
This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning? A: Because they think they're getting their picture taken!
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: cop, lawyer, wife
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