Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Three heavyweight men; an American, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building. The American jumped off and shouted "God save America!" The English man jumped off and shouted "God Save The Queen!" The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted "God save the person who I land on!''
Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan. Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
What happened to the Asian when he walked into a wall with a boner? He hit his nose.
Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?" Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf. When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.