Best jokes ever

Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea. What's that called?' The lady responded, 'It's a condom.' The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?' She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.' So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.' The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?' The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
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has 73.11 % from 372 votes. More jokes about: animal, drug, sex
“Dad, can you write in the dark?” “I think so. What is it you want me to write?” “Your name on this report card.”
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has 73.08 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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has 73.07 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex
What do you call a bunch of mexicans in a barn? Modern farm equiptment.
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has 73.07 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist
One morning a boy walks in to class late His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been" He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car" 15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car" 2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"
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has 73.07 % from 271 votes. More jokes about: car, school, time
Undertaker to bereaved husband. When did you 1st notice your wife was dead? Well he replies, "The s*x was the same but the dishes were starting too pile up."
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has 73.05 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty
As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex, the husband put his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night, while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor where it smashed. To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there were handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife what's up. "Well," she replied, "not everyone is as cheap as you are."
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has 73.05 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo mama so fat that she fell over and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.
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has 73.05 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Yo' Mama's so fat, her scale reads "Game Over."
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has 73.04 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: fat, game, insulting, Yo mama
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself
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has 73.04 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
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