Best jokes ever

Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money? A: He is always a little to short.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, communication, money
Yesterday I tried to catch fog. Mist.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
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has 71.41 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: business, kids, money
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself? Yes. Me too? Of course. And how much do you think I would cost? 500 francs. What?! Only 500 francs?! Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
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has 71.41 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: sex
A student visits the principal's office The principal asks: "What is your name?" The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david." The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?" Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: school, student
A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says,”I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink.” The guy swears and walks out of the bar. Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says,”I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!” Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man…”I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…you’re going to have to leave!” The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, “My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!”
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, drunk
Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks? A:It takes too long to retrain them.
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: blonde
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, nerd, technology
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