If the world were a jacket where would the blacks go? The Hood.
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common? A: They both have a cockpit.
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school. A: Because he forgot how to spell.
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."