Best jokes ever

As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
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has 71.07 % from 500 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, sex
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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has 71.07 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
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has 71.07 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, cowboy, time
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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has 71.07 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drug, ethnic, light bulb
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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has 71.07 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak. In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After your 50's its like a xmas tree, dead from the roots up & the balls are just there for decoration.
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has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dirty
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
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has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: cop, family, soccer, sport
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
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has 71.05 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, sex, single
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"
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has 71.05 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
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