Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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"Hey what's up?"
"Nothing much.. converting Oxygen into Carbon dioxide."
"How the hell do you do that?!"
"Breathing... Dude."
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer.
The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and suddenly, the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I tried to get my weapon ready, but there was no time, the tiger leapt toward me with a mighty Roooaarrrrr!I soiled myself."
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."
The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went Roooaarrrrr!"
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A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating."
John:"Me either."
The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send in Chuck Norris.
We decided to go the humane route.
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