Best jokes ever

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?" The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some stupid lawyer would ask me that question."
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, NASA used her to plug a black hole.
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More jokes about: black people, fat, racist, science, Yo mama
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
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The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
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Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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