A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.
Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere.
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How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
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A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench.
One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered
"It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD."
The drunk promptly fainted.
The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!"
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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