Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours.
I sure would like a piece of cake after though!
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"
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Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.
Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere.
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How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
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A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench.
One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered
"It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD."
The drunk promptly fainted.
The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!"
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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