Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like... Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times. He used a parachute twice.
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A: A sunken chest with no booty!