A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.
Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?"
And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi.
They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
Vote:
Yo mamas so poor she traded her car for gas money.
A guy went to a casino and lost all 10 000$.
Swearing for the situation he goes to a taxi driver and asks:
I have lost all my money, please give me a ride back home for free.
Fuck off, no money, no ride.
The next day the guys come to casino again and this time he successfully won all the money back and 10 000$ extra.
Hi goes out of the casino happily and sees five taxis, and the last car is the one, which refused to give a ride for free yesterday.
He goes to the first taxi and says:
Will you take me home for 100$
Sure!
But when you take me there you'll have to do the blow-job as well
Fuck off, man..
The guys goes to all next three cars and the story repeats.
Finally he goes to the last taxi driver, who refused to help a day ago, and says:
Will you take me home for 100$?
Sure!
Deal, but you have to pass through those other four taxi drivers very, very slowly.
Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
Vote:
Yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck.
I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom.
Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?"
"My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.
Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:
Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
Yo' Mama is so fat, a cop saw her standing alone and told her to break it up.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
Vote: