Best jokes ever

My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping. -_-
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has 70.51 % from 483 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist, teacher
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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has 70.51 % from 893 votes. More jokes about: golf, marriage, time, wife, women
My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.
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has 70.50 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: racist
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
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has 70.49 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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has 70.49 % from 583 votes. More jokes about: black people, kids, racist
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
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has 70.48 % from 522 votes. More jokes about: animal, Facebook, technology
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, work
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Yo' Mama is so fat, a cop saw her standing alone and told her to break it up.
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has 70.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: cop, fat, Yo mama
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