Best jokes ever

One day a young teen was in a church for the first time and he got a seat net to a not-so-good-looking woman. The pastor was preaching and he said: "Tell your neighbour how beautiful they are" and the boy stood up and said pastor "How can you expect me to lie in a church?"
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has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: beauty, church, teen, women
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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has 70.74 % from 341 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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has 70.73 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
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has 70.73 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: death, men, pirate, war
"Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?" "Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"
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has 70.73 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: dad, school
Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: atheist, Christmas
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself...
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: IT
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
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has 70.72 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are your celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence, the woman said. For my husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence," she said.
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has 70.72 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, husband
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