Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Yo Momma is so fat… that when she wore a blue and green sweater,everyone thought she was Planet Earth.
boy: spell "me" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.
Yo mamma is like the sun, stare at her and you'll go blind.
What do you call a black guy in a suit?... Guilty.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
"Doctor, I have a problem..." "What’s your problem?" "I pee in my sleep, every night!" "Why?" "Oh, well... Every night, a little devil visits me in my sleep and asks me; “Did we pee today?”. "And, that’s it? The solution is so simple.. Listen to me! If the little devil comes again you’re gonna answer; 'Yeah, dude, I did!'" "And that will cut it off?" "Sure! Like a knife!" At night, the little devil showed up on the patient’s dream and whispered; "Did we pee today?" "Yeah, dude, I did!" said angry the guy. And little devil replied: "What about poop?"