Best jokes ever

Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself...
Vote:
has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: IT
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Vote:
has 70.36 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
Vote:
has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer
Q: Why can't women read maps? A: Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.
Vote:
has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: geography, women
What do you call a young army? Infantry.
Vote:
has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: kids, military
One afternoon, Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she says, “Mable, did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?” Mable answered, “I have a suppository in my EAR?” She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, “Ethel, I’m awfully glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is.”
Vote:
has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: old people
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
Vote:
has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: IT
A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her. It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings. So, she told her parents. They too saw him and liked him. They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage. But wanted her to make the first move. The next day, she went to him and said, Hi. I'm Jada. He said, Hi. I'm Smith. Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency. You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now. So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it. I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married. The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home's WIFI doesn't have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend.
Vote:
has 70.33 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: IT, marriage, phone, religious, technology
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in London. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level. The Brunette team down below is living it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. She says, "What the heck's going on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
Vote:
has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: sport
Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a bakery.
Vote:
has 70.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
<<<349350351352
More jokes →
Page 349 of 1429.