Best jokes ever

A female school teacher comes up to a parent at a parent meeting and says, "You know, your son called me a prostitute!" Dad calls up his son and says: "So this teacher teaches you, helps you, wants you to get good grades and for all that you call her a prostitute?? what do you care about what she does after work?"
Vote:
has 70.72 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
Vote:
has 70.72 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drug, ethnic, light bulb
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Vote:
has 70.72 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The United States Army will be making a new movie... They'll be shooting in Iraq!
Vote:
has 70.72 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: military
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn't wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promtply shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse"
Vote:
has 70.71 % from 348 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender
Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief shows them the first mug shot. "That's not him," the first blonde states. "This man only has one eye." The chief is stunned. "He only has one eye because it's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the second blonde. "That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers. He smacks his head. "It's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the third blonde. After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses." "How do you know that?" "Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde
If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, technology
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal
<<<349350351352
More jokes →
Page 349 of 1427.