Best jokes ever

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No.". Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes," whispered the child, "A policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employees home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he is busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now startled. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The searching team just landed the hello-copper!" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "They are looking for me."
Vote:
has 70.66 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: cop, kids, little Johnny
Yo mamma so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
Vote:
has 70.65 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: fat, heaven, insulting, Yo mama
Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
Vote:
has 70.65 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
Vote:
has 70.65 % from 597 votes. More jokes about: black people, kids, racist
Q: What do you call a violent minority? A: A thug. Q: What do you call a violent white guy? A: Officer.
Vote:
has 70.64 % from 726 votes. More jokes about: cop, racist, white people
Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.
Vote:
has 70.64 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: fat, political, Yo mama
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn't wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promtply shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse"
Vote:
has 70.63 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Vote:
has 70.59 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. "You can take your choice, private - one month's restriction or twenty day's pay," said the officer. "All right, sir," said the bright soldier, "I'll take the money."
Vote:
has 70.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: military, money
Two liars were talking together: First: "My father built 1550 miles of 101 freeway in west of US lonely in one night." Second: "That is nothing but I've been born from my mother's ass." First: "It's impossible. I do'nt believe you." Second: "Shut up. I've believed your 1550 miles distance but why you don't believe my only 4 inches length?"
Vote:
has 70.58 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, vulgar, work
<<<349350351352
More jokes →
Page 349 of 1427.