Best jokes ever

King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
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has 70.20 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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has 70.20 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Like changing coins - I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!
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has 70.19 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: age, life, marriage, money, wife
Q: What do you call a violent minority? A: A thug. Q: What do you call a violent white guy? A: Officer.
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has 70.18 % from 932 votes. More jokes about: cop, racist, white people
Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. " The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: memory, old people, time, wedding
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: car, death, hospital, lawyer, life
I would make a science joke but all the good ones ARGON.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: science
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries. After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here." "At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, money
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology, work
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