A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch.
He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands.
The sales clerk says "you are suppose to read his lips."
He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch" and notices that it isn’t running – the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn’t run, it runs, it doesn’t run..."
He then notices a watch called the "Bill Clinton Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch.
He asks the sales clerk how much.
The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax..."
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
Your momma so fat...
She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem.
Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.
The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it.
The woman replied, snorting pepper.
"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?"
"No, why?"
"Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl?
A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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What are the small bumps around women’s nipples?
It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
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Why do women need guys?
Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.
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