Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools". "OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake.
Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.