Best jokes ever

A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
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More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
Several years ago, after having Japanese executives from the automotive industry tour a Ford Plant, they held a press conference in which one of the Japanese execs claimed that the American workers were slow and lazy. Not long after, a friend sent me a picture of a bumper sticker on a truck at the Ford plant. It read - "We may be slow and lazy, but we build a damn good bomb!"
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More jokes about: military
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.
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More jokes about: black people
Dentist (to the patient: "For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet." Patient: "Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot."
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More jokes about: doctor, god, life
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I? A: footsteps
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More jokes about: life, travel
Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
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More jokes about: hipster
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
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More jokes about: beauty, hipster
Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.
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More jokes about: life
An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESNT'T EXIST.
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More jokes about: life
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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More jokes about: new year, time