Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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A guy dies and is sent to hell.
Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis.
Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing.
After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me."
The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected.
But finally he decides to inspect the area.
Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around.
Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone.
Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!"
The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks.
"I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
Yo Mama so poor, when I asked her what's for dinner?
She pulled out a shotgun and said "The next motherfucker that moves!"
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A: Drinking on the job.
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