My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
Yo Mama so poor, when I asked her what's for dinner?
She pulled out a shotgun and said "The next motherfucker that moves!"
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A: Drinking on the job.
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Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.