Best jokes ever

In clas: 1+1=2 Exam: John has four apples and gives one away. Calculate the mass of the sun.
Vote: has 71.12 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter is it Ms. Crunt?”
Vote: has 71.12 % from 153 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican. They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back. We are going to shove it up your ass, if you scream we will cut off your head". The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his ass he screamed soo they cut off his head. The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his ass he screams. They all look at his and ask" why you scream?" The Mexican says" because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon.
Vote: has 71.09 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, desert island, food, mexican, racist
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Vote: has 71.09 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Vote: has 71.09 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Vote: has 71.08 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Vote: has 71.06 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
What's the difference between a black man and a daycare? A daycare knows when it has children.
Vote: has 71.06 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Vote: has 71.05 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Vote: has 71.03 % from 187 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, god, insulting, money, Yo mama