It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
Natalie, a pretty but distraught blonde model, took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time a man takes me out, I wind up in bed with him. And then afterward I feel guilty and depressed all day long." "I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you want me to strengthen your will power." "Heavens, NO!" exclaimed the model. "I want you to fix it so I don't feel guilty and depressed afterward."
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.” One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”
What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.
What does a black person and Batman have in common? They both can't leave home without Robbin.
What do you call a bunch of mexicans in a barn? Modern farm equiptment.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.