My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping.
-_- 
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
Vote:
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Vote:
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
Your mom is so fat when she jumps all the oceans disappear.
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
Vote:
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?"
Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"