Best jokes ever

An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample. The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?" The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample." The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, wife
Q: When do accountants laugh out loud? A: When somebody asks for a raise.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: old people
Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, technology
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop, money
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives.... "I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.." "Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?" "New York City..."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, life
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, science
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