So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
Some check under their beds for "Penny Wise the Clown" before to sleep. Penny Wise the Clown checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before going to sleep.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
"I really don’t know girl, but I don’t believe in love at first sight!" "Why?" "Because... How can you tell if the man has a good salary at the first sight?"
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.