Best jokes ever

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
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has 71.81 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, kids, music
Yo mamas so poor she traded her car for gas money.
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has 71.80 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: car, money, Yo mama
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
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has 71.80 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum the alarm went off.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: old people, technology, Yo mama
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food
How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish, food
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, ugly, vulgar, wife
Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history, mean, science
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