Best jokes ever

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: life
Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo momma's so fat... The animals at the zoo feed her.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: food, life
One day, Bush was talking with Osama Binladen on the phone, they couldn’t trace from where the call was coming from, but Osama said, "I’ve got good news and bad news." Bush replied, "What’s the good news?" "I’m turning myself in," said Osama. "But the bad news is, I’m coming on a plane."
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: management, time, work
Q: What did the fire monster that was slayed by the water monster say? A: "You're cold."
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication
<<<355356357358
More jokes →
Page 355 of 1429.