Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...
Vote: has 71.34 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Hitler, racist, sport
Rappers are like the pens at the bank. They all have chains on them, and don't write very well.
Vote: has 71.34 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, racist
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
Vote: has 71.34 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Vote: has 71.34 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Vote: has 71.33 % from 254 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, life, work
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
Vote: has 71.32 % from 212 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, kids, political
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up a finger and says, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?” He says, “Smaller?” She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.” She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
Vote: has 71.29 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, drug
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Vote: has 71.29 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!
Vote: has 71.27 % from 150 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex