Best jokes ever

Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: "I didn't had no fun for months." Then she faces the class and says, "OK class, how should this be corrected?" Little Johnny says, "I think you should get yourself a better man!"
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has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
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has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, food, life, prison
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
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has 70.37 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, sex
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
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has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, medical, memory, science
If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
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has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, viagra
The United States Army will be making a new movie... They'll be shooting in Iraq!
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has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: military
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
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has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, food, life, travel
Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?" Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."
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has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, masturbation
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