Best jokes ever

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: life
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, god, Yo mama
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: holiday, stupid, weather
A tomato walks into work and a potato says: "Hello, Tomatoe..." He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"? "Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, work
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal
<<<357358359360
More jokes →
Page 357 of 1428.