What are the small bumps around women’s nipples?
It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
A female school teacher comes up to a parent at a parent meeting and says, "You know, your son called me a prostitute!"
Dad calls up his son and says: "So this teacher teaches you, helps you, wants you to get good grades and for all that you call her a prostitute?? what do you care about what she does after work?"
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes. Who survives?
America.
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home?
1st kid says, "A computer."
Teacher replies "That'd be very useful"
2nd kid says "A new lawn mower."
Teacher replies with a similar response...
Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don"t need anything."
The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something...
Little Johnny replies, "Nope, i'm sure of it. Whenever my sister started going out with a NIGGER, i remember my dad saying, "Well, thats the last f*cking thing we need."
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What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment?
Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
One day Daily Mail has a article with title: "One in four cannot read."
The next day one another newspaper writes: "Nice to see a newspaper finally acknowledging their audience."
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job?
A: He was caught beating his meat.
A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless. "Where have you been?" asked the man. "I can't believe you left me down there! I couldn't get the tailgate open!"
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Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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