Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out.
One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush.
"What the hell is this?" he asks the pastor.
"Why, it's a toilet brush."
"Ooh, I see," says Josi.
A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working.
"Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper."
Vote:
One day, Bush was talking with Osama Binladen on the phone, they couldn’t trace from where the call was coming from, but Osama said, "I’ve got good news and bad news."
Bush replied, "What’s the good news?"
"I’m turning myself in," said Osama. "But the bad news is, I’m coming on a plane."
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
Define "Egghead":
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal."
Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire?
Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
Vote:
Q: What did the fire monster that was slayed by the water monster say?
A: "You're cold."
Vote:
Women are looking for Mr. Right.
Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.