Best jokes ever

A tomato walks into work and a potato says: "Hello, Tomatoe..." He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"? "Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, work
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: holiday, stupid, weather
Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence." Me: "You mean... the period?" Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, stupid, work
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, god, Yo mama
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor
They were three men discussing how to make their wives to tell them if they cheated on them. The first guy says: "I go home after work at night, lie on the couch, turn on the television and ask: 'Woman you cheated on me today!' 'Who, me my husband? Could I ever do such a thing?' Pissed off as I am, I get up, put her down, punch her and in the end she can’t take it anymore and admits: 'I cheated on you with Nick…'" The secong guy says: "I do exactly the same thing. I punch her and finally she says: 'I cheated on you with Jake…'" The third guy says: "I have no problem at all. I go home, undress, put the sweat pants on, light my cigarette on, I go out to the balcony, see the neighbor spreading clothes and shout at her: 'Mary! You are a whore!' And then she starts saying: 'I’m a whore? Or your wife who sleeps with John, Mark, Peter…!'"
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has 70.01 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, war, women
Yo' Mama is so poor, when you ring her doorbell, she sticks her head out the window and yells, "DING DONG!"
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has 70.01 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
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has 70.01 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
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