A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years.
And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
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What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room?
100 people that don''t do dick!
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.
One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions.
Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.
This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".
Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely?
A: Playing Frisbee.
Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
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On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
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