Best jokes ever

3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"
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has 68.97 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, sex
Q: Why can't 2 Asians make a white baby? A: Because 2 Wongs don't make a white.
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has 68.97 % from 227 votes. More jokes about: asian, black people, racist
Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
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has 68.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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has 68.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, political
Yo' mama got such bad dandruff, the principal declared a snow day!
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has 68.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
How do you get the little black kids to stop jumping on the bed? Put Velcro on the ceiling. How do you get them down? Tell the Mexican kids it's a piñata.
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has 68.96 % from 448 votes. More jokes about: black people
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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has 68.96 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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has 68.93 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
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has 68.93 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
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has 68.93 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
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