Best jokes ever

Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
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has 68.78 % from 281 votes. More jokes about: sex
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
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has 68.77 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
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has 68.77 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford. They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree. "What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?" "Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?" "A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it. "Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?" "Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right." "Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
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has 68.77 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, sex, time, travel
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, husband, men, sex, women
Yo mama is so fat when she ordered a waterbed, I gave her the atlantic ocean.
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper. Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..." Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach. Husband faints. Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: communication, husband, office, technology, wife
Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, dog
Yo Mama's so fat that when she bends over, the whole country enters daylight saving.
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
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