When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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