When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
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Once Chuck Norris attempted to punch through a brick wall, but the brick wall crumbled in fear.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
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The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse...
And his favorite drink is punch...
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong.
And stop being a racist.
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