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Yo mamma is on a seafood diet, when she see's food, she eats it.
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Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
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A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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A policeman arrested two kids on bonfire night. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other one off.
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Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
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What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.
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Life is too short to remove USB safely.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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