Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
What do you call a nigger with no arms, and no legs? Trustworthy.
Yo mamma so fat she went to Japan and Godzilla said "DAMN" and ran away.
A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Chinese guy are riding in a truck. Who's driving? Immigration.
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night? A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom. A barmaid at night is bare and...
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.