Best jokes ever

Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
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has 68.07 % from 640 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money." "DAMN!" said the father. "What's wrong?", the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"
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has 68.07 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
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has 68.05 % from 1388 votes. More jokes about: dating, sex
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
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has 68.03 % from 708 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, sex
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
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has 68.03 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: air force, school, terrorist, war
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
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has 68.02 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, business, ginger, god
Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.
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has 68.02 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night. ‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor. The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
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has 68.02 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
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has 68.02 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
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has 68.02 % from 451 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
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