A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!" came the reply
Always remember:
There is not problem that 6 glasses of wine can't solve.
Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night."
Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed,
"Yes."
"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever.
Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
Vote:
Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air?
A: It got pissed off.
Vote: