Best jokes ever

Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, marriage, wife
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: bible, death, money
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
Husband: "Good night mother of my three sons." Wife: "Same to you father of none."
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dad, husband, kids, wife
A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning. The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first. The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job. The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it. The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it. She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, marriage, work
Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, fat, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life
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