Yo mamas so poor she traded her car for gas money.
Yo mamma is on a seafood diet, when she see's food, she eats it.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows. Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark. He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators. "Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?" Modestly our hero says: "Actually I'm from England." The next days newspaper headline says "Pommy mongrel kills child's pet"
There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks? A: Better traction.
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.