Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
has 68.01 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
has 68.00 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: bar, cat, nerd
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
has 68.00 % from 213 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
has 67.98 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." The passenger asks "Who?"  The cabbie says "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time." Passenger: "Yeah. But there are always a few clouds over everybody."  Cabbie says "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano." The passenger replies "Sounds like he was something really special"  Cab driver responds "There's more... he had a mind like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out." Passenger: "Wow, some incredible guy"  The cabbie goes "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them." "Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."  Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. And he's never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"  Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow..."
has 67.98 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: car, computer, golf, marriage, time
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
has 67.97 % from 638 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
has 67.94 % from 670 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, sex
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
has 67.93 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."
has 67.91 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, school, sex
Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.
has 67.90 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, ethnic, mexican, racist, stupid
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