Best jokes ever

Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: school, time
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 68.15 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
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has 68.14 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, men, women
After nine years of marriage, a butcher's wife is tired of her husband's morning flatulence. She warns him that he'll fart his guts out. One night, the wife decides to put pig scraps in his pants, so he will think that he actually farted his guts out and stop the flatulence. The next morning, the husband goes to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he comes out and says, "You were right about me farting my guts out. But with the grace of the dear Lord and these two fingers. I got them back in there!"
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, husband, marriage, wife
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geek, internet, men
Paint a bar of soap completely with clear nail polish so it won't suds up.
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: April fools
I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter... I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, music, women
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much." The twenty answered, "I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?" The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff… church, church, church." essories for it.
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: church, game, money, travel
An elderly rabbi was once on an airplane to Israel sitting next to a self-professed atheist. They were amicably chatting the whole trip. Every now and then, the rabbi's grandchild, sitting in another row, would come over to him, bringing him a drink, or asking if he could get anything to make him more comfortable. After this happened several times, the atheist sighed, "I wish my grandchildren would treat me with such respect. They hardly even say hello to me. What's your secret?" The rabbi replied: "Think about it. To my grandchildren, I am two generations closer to Adam and Eve, the two individuals made by the hand of G‑d. So they look up to me. But according to the philosophy which you teach your grandchildren, you are two generations closer to being an ape. So why should they look up to you?"
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has 68.14 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: airplane, god, jewish, religious, travel
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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has 68.12 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: school
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